Skip to Content

Monday Q&A | Feeding a Co-Worker, Facebook Deals, and When You Can’t Cut Back Any More

Every Monday, I answer a few of the questions that my readers send me. If you have a question you’d like me to answer in a future Q&A post, just leave me a comment here or email me (thefrugalgirl [at] gmail [dot] com) and put Q&A in the subject line. I look forward to hearing from you!

I work nights, and bring something to eat most every night. My co-worker does not make much money and most times does not bring anything. Normally if I were alone, I would eat a leftover, boiled egg or just anything frugal. I feel like I have to buy certain foods for us to eat and share due to not wanting to eat in front of her, and due to the fact that she likes certain things. She laughs if I bring something frugal like a can of chicken and dumplings. This is costing me much more money and I feel it is a cycle I can’t get out of. She says that I should not feel as if I need to bring her food but yet she really expects it. If I bring something she doesn’t like she frowns and looks unhappy. I could save a lot more money if i didn’t have to do this.

-S.

This is easy for me to say since I’m not there, but I think that you need to have a forthright conversation with this co-worker. Let her know that you’re not going to be bringing food for her anymore, and then follow through on that.

Or if you feel like that’s too harsh, I would at LEAST stop catering to her wishes. Bring whatever you’d bring if she wasn’t there and if she doesn’t want to eat it, she certainly doesn’t have to.

It sounds to me like you may be a people-pleaser (Hi! I’m one of those too!), and your desire to please her is making you do something that’s kind of making you miserable. Remind yourself that you can’t make everyone happy and that you will drive yourself crazy if you try.

And something that helps me too is to remember that the world will not come to an end if I do something that makes someone else unhappy. I know that sounds obvious, but my goodness, all too often I function as if I must maintain the happiness of All People In The World.

What do you think about all the Facebook deals lately, where you have to “Like” a company to get a coupon or deal. Sometimes it seems like these are good deals, but I do not have a Facebook account. I had one, but now it requires me to give a cell phone number to “verify” my account, and I do not have a cell phone. My only other option to verify my account is to send a photocopy of my driver’s license, and I refuse to do that. Why are these companies limiting their deals to only Facebook users? I don’t like Facebook anyway, and like it even less now that they want me to send something I’m not willing to send.

I realize you are not a deal site (and I thank you very much for that), but would like to know how you feel about this.

-Susan

Hmm. Could you use a friend’s cell phone to verify your account? I’m assuming you just need to receive a text or something like that.

As to why companies are limiting these deals to Facebook, I think it’s because they’re focused more on marketing than on being fair. Once you like a company on Facebook, they’ve got yet another way to market their products to you, so every “like” is really valuable to them.

They’re not distributing coupons/free stuff out of the goodness of their hearts…they’re trying to successfully market their product.

If you can’t get a Facebook account opened or you don’t want to, my advice is to just not sweat the Facebook deals. We all survived before companies were giving away free stuff on Facebook, right? The freebies are what I would consider to be nice but not necessary. And like I always say, there are lots of ways to save money without doing the couponing/deal thing.

How do you live on less when you have been living that way all along? One can only go down so far without turning off the electricity, for instance.

-BA8

(this question was emailed in after I published Whoopee, we can spend again!)

Yep, you’re totally right. There is a limit to how effective frugality can be because we do all need things like food and shelter.

This is why I don’t think we ought to choose between saving and earning. Living frugally will help you make the most out of the income you have, but it’s not going to do a ton to help you save up a nice nest egg if your income is really sparse.

If you’re in a situation where you’ve pinched every penny you can pinch and you still are having trouble making ends meet, I’d highly recommend figuring out a way to earn some more money.

I don’t know your situation, but if you’ve got a job, perhaps you could ask for a raise*, or look for a similar job with another company that would pay you more.

(*I should have added this when I wrote the post, but the career advice isn’t my own…I’ve just read a multitude of times that asking for a raise is a wise choice sometimes and that women in particular don’t think of doing that.)

Maybe a part-time second job would be a good idea…and that part-time job could be a self-employed kind of job (child-care, housecleaning, paid organizing, tutoring, etc.), depending on what your skills and gifts are. Think about what you’re really good at, and figure out if there’s a way you could get paid to do that on the side.

If you have extra possessions, you could sell them in order to build up a bit of an emergency cushion.

Have you signed up for Swagbucks? Using Swagbucks doesn’t require any special skills, and you could use your points for things like Amazon gift cards. That could give your budget a bit more wiggle room. It’s not going to be as profitable as a part-time job, but hey, every little bit helps!

If you need more ideas, MoneySavingMom has a 27 Ways to Make Money list up, and at the bottom there are a few links where you can find freelance work.

_____________________________

Readers, do you have any advice to share on these three topics?

______________________________

Today’s 365 post: Requiring Concentration

disclosure

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

alone on the prarie

Wednesday 16th of May 2012

Use "Jenny's" number with your area code. I seen that on a news thing, and they say it works. If you don't know who "Jenny" is, it's from a song in the 80's. Her number is XXX-867-5309 (and I can't say it without singing it)

Brandi Betts

Tuesday 15th of May 2012

I can absolutely relate to the reader who is running out of ways to be more frugal. I am single with a small amount of credit debt to pay off plus student loans, mortgage, car payment,etc. Some of these bills are fixed expenses while others - grocery, utilities, fuel consumption are within my control. But I have cut back so much in these areas that I'm struggling to find additional ways to save money. Getting a raise at my local government job is not an option so I have taken on some freelance work. Even still the cost of living is increasing faster than I can pay off debt. It's a scary position and I really feel for the person who asked the question. But on a lighter note, I love this blog! Keep up the good work FG!

priskill

Tuesday 15th of May 2012

@ Maggie: But asking for a raise is a great idea, regardless of who gives the advice, and the "working" status of the advice-giver seems immaterial at best. It's just practical -- if you've cut expenses as low as you think you reasonably can, and ends are still not meeting, you may need to make more money. Doesn't require Ben Bernanke to vet that particular concept. But -- hearing it from a smart, friendly, non-judgmental and trusted source (such as FG) is really be a motivator, at least for me.

And I do appreciate the writer (Megyn?) who pointed out the gray area where it's actually NOT a good idea to make more money since she would lose medical -- that is horrible and I wish I had answers.

Still, for most of us, making more money (and the suggestion to do so) is a sensible possibility, in my obviously non-humble opinion.

Crystal @ Crystal's Cozy Kitchen

Tuesday 15th of May 2012

When we were in a tight spot financially I started doing online surveys (some are better than others!), using swagbucks, inboxdollars (just don't spend money to get money-it can be a temptation!), my points, etc to make a few extra dollars. They don't pay a lot, but made a difference in our lives as it gave us a bit of extra money to spend once in a while.

Jamie B @ merricontrari

Tuesday 15th of May 2012

Two things: 1 - I think there is a way to bypass the phone-confirmation thing on Facebook. I have had an FB account since 2005. It's asked me once or twice in the last year or so to confirm my phone number and I don't want to, and I haven't. Obviously if you wanted to use the site on a phone you'd probably have to, but I use the mobile site on my Kindle Fire and still haven't given them my phone number. Moreover, I think Facebook's terms of use for businesses require them to offer an alternative way to enter contests, so if there's a contest you realllly want to enter, contact the company and ask!

2 - Swagbucks is great and I love it. I also like Superpoints and Recyclebank. :)

Jamie B @ merricontrari

Tuesday 15th of May 2012

Oh, as for the "how do you keep getting more frugal" - my answer is this: your situation will continue to change! You'll settle into a groove of how much you spend on what things, but then something changes, whether it's the season of the year or a season of your life. You'll have different needs and will have the new challenge of discovering how to be most frugal while meeting them!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.