This morning a reader left somewhere around 12 comments on my blog with the following content. While I know that this reader’s feelings don’t reflect the feelings of most of you, I realize that there’s a possibility that some of you have shared her concerns, and so I wanted to address them here.
I’m just going to insert my responses to this reader in between portions of her comment.
I can’t believe that you used the poor people of Haiti as a way to earn referral money from Ebates. Do you readers know that you receive $5 in your paypal account each time they sign up and make a purchase? How can they be sure the money will go to Haiti. The only promotion from ebates that I’ve heard of is just the ipad only, there’s no $500.
First, here’s how the Ebates referral program works. If I refer 50 people, I will receive either an iPad or $500. As I said before, I’m not faintly interested in getting an iPad, and so I’m going to opt for the $500 bonus, and I’ll be sending that to Living Water International. I had already planned on posting a screenshot of my Living Water donation to share the joy with all of you, so fear not…I wouldn’t be deceitful and keep the money for myself simply because I love God and want to please Him. 
I do receive $5 for each person I refer, and that money is going to Living Water as well. This is not about making money for myself. If I wanted to do that, I’d have written a post about Ebates, encouraged my readers to sign up, and said nothing about Haiti. Then I could have kept the $5/per referral PLUS the $500 for myself.
Also, what you don’t know is that I wasn’t all that far away from having 50 referrals and the $500 bonus before I even did the Haiti post. Had I wanted to be selfish, I could have said nothing and pocketed the money.
Also, you may not have been around back when the earthquake happened, but when it did, I did a fundraiser here on my blog where I donated $1 to Living Water for every comment and link left on that post. I happily depleted my camera fund in order to do this, and I asked nothing of my readers. And each month, my husband and I make a donation to Living Water because we believe in their mission.
I stopped reading your blog months ago because of all the links and money making opportunities for you. This blog is supposed to be about saving money, but instead you’re encouraging readers to spend money. Every link you post is just a money making opportunity for you and your family, this entire blog is.
I do make money from my blog, that much is true. That’s not why I started blogging, though. My blog exists to serve its readers, and my desire is to inspire people and to help them see that it is possible to live cheerfully and well on less. No money-making scheme will get in the way of that as long as I’m in charge.
Because of this, I bypass scads of money-earning opportunities because I feel that they would not serve the readership of this blog (you wouldn’t believe how many debt/credit companies want to advertise here!). I advertise only products and services that I feel will provide a good and fair value to my readers, and generally speaking, these products and services are things I’ve spent my own money on. I use Swagbucks and Ebates myself, I pay Dreamhost to host my blog, I own all the products in my Amazon widgets, and so on. Frugality isn’t about not. ever. spending. any. money, and so I don’t feel at all morally conflicted about encouraging my readers to buy things like the high quality baking sheets I own and use. I only promote products that offer long-term value and of course I would never, ever encourage someone to spend money that they don’ t have.
Also, I’m very open about it when I post links that give me some kickback, and I offered disclosures of that sort long before the FTC made it mandatory.
I am very grateful for the income that I receive from my blog, but it is not the sort of thing that is making me rich, and if I sat down and figured out my hourly wage, I don’t think it would be very impressive. The extra money is nice, yes, but it’s not what keeps me going. No, what drives this blog is the feedback I receive from readers. I am so encouraged when I hear that God has used my blog to help people get their finances in order, or to help people learn to cook and bake, or even to inspire people to find joy in their present circumstances. That’s the stuff that fuels me.
Such a LOSER, you have to beg for money. Sit at home all day with a computer in front of you and beg! While the rest of the world works and makes a living! You really need it. Good luck with your 500 referrals idiot, I doubt if 500 are that dumb, I noticed only a few comments. White trash!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m off to work now, real job , real people. I’m not afraid of people like you are.
I will do this all day and night and spread the word on other sites about you as well. The Haiti post was too much for Haitian – Americans.
Based on this, I’d venture a guess that you’ve never run a blog before. I enjoy blogging, I really do, but I would be lying if I said it wasn’t work. I’ve poured a lot of blood, sweat, tears, and time into this blog over the last two years, and if you’ve been following me for a while, I’m surprised that you’ve come away with the impression that I’m afraid of work. If anything, fall out of the boat on the side of working too hard. I am many things, but I am not lazy.
I don’t know if you’ve read any of my day in the life of The Frugal Girl posts, but trust me, I do more than sit in front of a computer all day. And if you’d met me in real life, you would certainly come to the conclusion that I am not afraid of people…I’m the sort of person who could strike up a conversation with a brick wall.
I’m sorry that my post upset you, and I certainly don’t mind if you stop reading my blog…it’s not for everyone, and that’s totally ok.
{ 153 comments… read them below or add one }
The perfect response–classy, tactful and respectful of someone who was not. That’s why I read your blog and will continue to do so.
I’m sorry you had to get that type of response. I’m sure the majority of your readers understand your motivation.
Yikes! This is obviously a very unhappy and possibly jealous person. Your response to them was very well done. I guess all we can do is pray that this person finds some of their own happiness and lets go of their anger at the fact you are happy and sooo many people enjoy your blog. Keep up the good work and thank you for all that you have taught me.
Keep up the good work. I think you work extremely hard and anyone who reads your day-in-the-life posts should know that. It isn’t easy to do all the things that you and your family pack into one day. I love the balence you bring between being frugal and still enjoying life. I love your blog! Thank you for all the informative posts and amazing recipes. I thought it was a great idea to use your blog for something good and to earn money.
sounds like you were hit by one of those creepy troll ppl who have nothing better to do than leave nasty comments. your blog is so friendly and positive, i’m flabergasted that anyone could even try to twist it into anything else. keep up the good work – your blog is a nice way to start my day!
Oh my goodness Kristen, you are way too nice! That reader is rude and obnoxious…and I agree with the previous response that your response was extremely classy! Personally, I LOVE the fact that you make a little bit of money for all of your efforts on this blog. Every time I cash in for a Swagbucks reward…I think about the fact that I’ve also helped you get a reward, too. You have helped change my life for the better, I LOVE reading your blog, and I hope crazy, obnoxious readers like this one don’t get you down even for a second. And I cannot believe someone would call anyone “white trash.” That is extremely rude and says volumes about the person who commented…and absolutely NOTHING about you!!!!!! Keep doing what you’re doing…you’re my first read in the morning with my coffee…and you’re a tremendous, life-changing inspiration to me and my family…and all of the friends and neighbors who I’ve encouraged to read your blog as well. You ROCK!!!!!!!
Know what kills me about the term “white trash”? That it implies that anyone who isn’t white is trash by default.
I find it odd that a Haitian-American would use such a term. (Like you, I can’t believe ANYONE uses that term!). But really.
It is really odd. And not that it’s ever ok to call someone white trash, but I don’t even think we fit the stereotype. lol
Wow. I am in awe of how you handled this, and completely in shock that someone would make such assumptions and blast you without attempting to discuss it with you in an adult way. I am a new blogger, so of course this concerns me and I just hope that if I am ever put in this situation, that I can handle it halfway as well as you did.
You response was way nicer than I would have been. I never doubted you!
Good for you Kristen! Being frugal is not about being cheap ( in my opinion). It’s about buying the best you can afford, so that what you have lasts a very long time, and doesn’t end up in a landfill somewhere after 6 months to a year. Some people will never understand the why behind what we do, because their minds are closed to the possibility of people doing good in this world.
Absolutely! Better to buy one $25 baking sheet than 15 $10 baking sheets…better for the wallet and better for the environment.
but if any of ya’ll have any icky baking sheets, I have some cute ideas I’ve found on the internet to turn them into advent calendars & other stuff you can do with them using scrapbook papers & embellishments
Not a good reason to go buy icky baking sheets though lol
Good for you for taking the high road. Shame on that person. Sounds like a jr high drama queen.
I don’t think I’ve ever commented on your blog, but I read everyday and I’m just appalled at those comments. The only impression I’ve had of you is that you’re giving, hard-working and a great steward of money… if only the rest of the world would be so generous and gracious.
You handle this very well which says even more about your character!
ditto to this post! i have never posted a comment to your blog, though i read it every day, and this blog post compelled me to write. Kristy K said everything i wanted to say. sometimes, it’s so hard to understand why these kinds of things happen when intentions are so pure, but thank goodness, you’re not letting one bad apple spoil the bunch. keep inspiring us.
I value this blog and much of the information in it. I have tried some of the recipes and they are good! There is much to be admired about it – and you!
There is a dark side however. And I hope I say this with respect and in a way to give polite feedback. I was a bit bothered by the pitch for Ebates. The first thought was if I wanted money to go to Haiti, I could send it without “buying”. I personally struggle with keeping my spending under control because I am susceptible to “pitches” and advertisements. So when they appear in places I like, I tend to be more susceptible. But what I did was just skip over that part. I figured it just wasn’t for me. And there was so much else good about your blog in general. But there was a bit of hurt in that blog for me. But that is me – and not you. I believe you had best of intentions.
I also feel that the person leaving the comments was very hurtful. That part about sitting in front of a computer. I can’t imagine producing a blog. I have tried to imagine it. I believe I might have something to share. But could never do it like you and several other of my favorite bloggers. I admire you.
And I agree – you commented in an incredibly classy way.
Oh, I’m sorry about that! I considered just encouraging people to give to Living Water as I have in the past, but I thought that the opportunity to do some already-planned shopping while contributing to a worthy cause was an idea worth sharing.
Just because I like to get feedback, can I ask if you feel the same way when I share about a piece of kitchen equipment that I like? I try to do so in a way that is more like me sharing a bit of good information than like a sales pitch (i.e. “I love this and it’s been worth the money for me” rather than “Run out and buy this today!”), but if I’m not coming off that way, I want to work harder at that.
Thanks for your input…as I said, I want my blog to serve and help its readers!
You are most gracious. And given what you wrote in your first paragraph, your intentions are right on.
And once again, that my reaction is my problem, not your fault (or problem!). I am not sure I would want you to change anything you do. I just wanted to give one possible reaction (mine!). And yes, it is that bad for me. Because I so respect what you do, if something is good for you, it might change my life for the positive. Not always true. I am trying to learn to be content with what I have – and learn to use what I have. Sometimes, I do find something that makes life easier for the life that I want. But sometimes, I need to learn to be content with what I have.
Thank you for your blog and for being you.
Hi Kristen. I couldn’t read and not comment. As a follower of this blog from the very beginning, and even before (as a friend), I can vouch that you didn’t start this blog for the money and it was purely for working on lowering your food waste. However, your blog has evolved and your readership has grown and it is a bit rich for some readers to complain about you wanting to make some money when you have worked so hard to provide interesting, informative and detailed posts.
Also, as an (admittedly online) friend, I would definately say you are anything but lazy LOL I just wish I had half your energy (and I only have half the number of children!).
Erika! Yay! I miss hearing from you.
Thanks for the support.
Someone was having a rough day huh? Sorry they felt like creating one for you too.
Just wanted to say thank you for your inspiring, uplifting, informative blog. I have never met you in real life, and probably never will, but I can tell from your blog and from your responses that you are a true classy woman who is a gift to all those who get to read your comments and posts. Thank you for sharing your gift with all of us.
Oh Wow… Kristen – I am sorry to read that you had to go through this. I so admire your responses. Now, while my blood was boiling just from reading their comments to you and it has since come down to a simmer, I am going to take some time today to pray for that person.
You do a wonderful job here on your blog – you inspire so many people in so many ways. All I can say is Thank You and PLEASE keep up what you are doing.
The commenter sounded so angry, he/she must be in very much pain to lash out so. I doubt that anything you did or could do would make any difference – you just happened to be at the receiving end and that’s so sad for you. People make their own joy and misery and I keep coming back here for you cheerfully sharing your joy. Sometimes though, I think people in misery lash out at the joymakers that doesn’t mean you should stop.
I think so too…there’s probably a sad backstory to all of this, and my Haiti post dredged it up.
I am a relatively new follower and I just wanted to say…that reader is bunk and whack and YOU are not…way to stay classy and tend to the situation like a lady. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!
I envy your restraint and ability to say, “Bite me, buddy” is such a gentle way.
Whoa! What a nasty person. I can’t imagine that there are more than a couple (bizarre, unbalanced, untruthful, unable to see truth) people who would even think of what that commenter said– especially the last couple paragraphs, which devolved quickly. This reminds me of teaching evaluations in large lecture classes– somehow the one or two petulant, negative students’ comments are the ones that catch one’s attention, even if 150 other students were neutral or positive. But I honestly don’t think that anyone who has read your blog with an open heart– and those are the ones for whom you are writing this blog , I think?– would be unable to realize that you approach money-making (and in fact everything!) with your blog honestly and fairly, and without ever trying to take advantage of your readers.
Though your response is wonderfully non-defensive and classy, as others have said, in a way I wish I hadn’t even had that comment brought to our attention. Is he/she is in fact passing around your blog address to more people who are ignorantly surfing over and wreaking havoc, and so need to see a public response?
I’m curious– I’d love to know what percentage of comments, or what percentage of page-views, result in negative comments. I hope that it’s a very small percentage, reflecting the enjoyment that almost everyone gets from your blog! On the other hand, the anonymity of the internet must up the crazy-quotient. Thank you for all the work you put into this blog, and please keep it up for the rest of us?
I am a very fortunate blogger…the nasty comments are very, very few and far between. Some bloggers have junk like this to deal with every single day, and I am so grateful that my readership is, by and large, composed (ha! I just typed “composted!) of delightful people.
I have no idea if the commenter is passing this around to other blogs, but she was busily posting this comment all over my blog this morning and was working on doing so on Facebook. I’d just prefer to err on the safe side and keep things open.
Normally if a rude comment comes through, I let it go without commenting on it publicly (though if it contains bad language, I delete it). However, in some cases a rude comment brings up a point that I feel may need to be addressed because I think other readers might share the same concerns (like at Christmastime when a reader said I post too many photos).
I love your photos! And I especially love Christmas photos!! They make me happy.
Thinking more clear-headedly about this now, I really should probably just have summarized the commenter’s concerns and responded to those instead of copying and pasting the comment. That would have accomplished my goal (clearing up my intentions) without parading the ugly comment in front of everyone.
Next time this happens, I’ll do better!
Let’s hope there is no next time. As for me, I am praying that the commenter sees the light and apologizes. How’s that for a big prayer wish? Keep up the good work, Kristen!
Thank you for your reply! I’m very glad to hear that you so rarely get these kinds of comments. Again, I am admiring and envious of your ability to respond so non-defensively. My own comment was a little strong simply because of my own defensive reaction to that commenter!! Even though his/her last comments were quite unfair– not only misrepresenting you, but misrepresenting Haitian-Americans– it is educational to read such a calm response to them. Thanks again.
I’m glad too. I can handle them every now and then, but I don’t think I’m strong enough to deal with a constant barrage of them. I don’t know how bloggers with a mostly crabby readership manage!
Hi Kristen. I’ve been following this blog from the beginning and the person that commented was beyond rude and you handled it far better than I ever would/could have. I follow your blog because I truly enjoy everything you post. I’ve known you for sometime (before you had Zoe) from other sites…and never in a million years would I even think that you would try and deceit your readers. Continue doing what you do and pray for this awful person who clearly needs better focus in life.
Whitney W.
Let me chime in and say how admirable your response was…I would have had to wait a LONG time before sounding so gracious and calm. And I would have had to use my delete key a lot before posting it! Way to go.
Wow, you are way too nice. However, I would expect nothing but the well thought, classy response you posted. I love your blog and I honestly cannot understand how someone could come to those conclusions about you, your blog or your intentions. It is beyond me. I think this post is a true example of your character – good for you!
One more thing to add–there is a lot of talk on this blog about “ministry” or “ministrying”…not sure what the correct term is…and a Christian outlook. But I have to tell you I’m Jewish and your message resounds clearly with me, too.
that’s what i love about her blog – it doesn’t matter what your personal beliefs are… serving others and being kind to your fellow man is the main message, and i think that applies to everyone
Agreed
Well said. I was going to comment similarly that I read a lot of blogs, and yours is one of the only ones where I feel like your truly kind soul soaks through into every post. I am not a Christian, but your message of kindness and helping others is truly of universal significance, and you carry and deliver that message with true grace, honesty, and consistency. I’m sorry you got such hateful feedback from one commenter. I adore your blog and think you must be one of the classiest women in the blogosphere.
I think classy is a great word to describe this blog and Kristen.
Wow… I’ve been following your blog for awhile now and was just amazed to read this post. You’ve been a real encouragement to me, as a working mom with a totally different life experience right now, to put more effort into the food I give my family and how I organize that part of our family life. So please don’t listen to the single hater. How ridiculous…
people are awful. it’s hard to believe that cyber-bullying happens even amongst adults. sick sad world we live in, but alas, what can you do? oh, that’s right. you can respond tactfully and truthfully – just like you did. i’m very impressed with your ability to not fly off the handle at someone like that. most people couldn’t handle that like you did. kudos to you, and for what it’s worth, i’m willing to bet that 99.9% of your readers disagree with that person.
I know this is like my 4th post here this morning…but this is really bugging me! Why, oh why, are people like this? It’s just flat out mean. Now, I have to put it out of my mind and get on with my day!
Oh, please don’t let it ruin your day! I’m not letting it ruin mine, and I will be bummed out if you have a bad day on my behalf.
Go out and live cheerfully and less, and I’ll be a happy girl. lol
Oh my goodness, I am in awe of the restraint and respect with which you wrote that. It would be hard for me to receive a message like that and not get hurt feelings, even if I didn’t know the person & understood that people on the internet are not always nice. I’m sorry that the person feels that way, but I’m sure you know that most of your readers adore you. I did the Ebates thing and made my $20 purchase of something that I was going to need to buy online anyway (a pair of adorable dress shoes for a wedding, which I picked up yesterday and they fit perfectly & look great!) – and I trust that you’re going to give the money to Living Water!
I guess I just wanted to chime in to let you know that I think you’re rad, and that I’ve shared your blog with several friends – who were all instantly enamored with all things Frugal Girl. Thank you for all that you do, from the bottom of this poor college student’s heart
. You rock!
When I first started blogging, I did used to get my feelings hurt more than I do now! Blogging has been good for me, though, because my natural tendency is to care too much about what people think of me. Then too, I definitely struggle to grow in humility, and blogging has helped me there too.
I think I’m a little better about not taking things to heart now, and better about having a merciful attitude towards people who are rude to me. Rude people are often acting out of hurt, it seems, and when I remember that, I am more prone to be kind in return.
Also, I’ve been utterly amazed at how often a kind response has won over a rude person…I never think it’s going to happen, and it almost always does. It’s such a pleasant surprise each time! lol
I love reading your blog everyday. Please keep up what you are doing! I am sorry about negative people out there that only see what they think are bad intentions of other people. Thanks for your exemplary testimony of a believer of the Lord. God Bless you and your family always
What a gracious response in the face of such hate and anger! This just makes me want to read your blog even more than I did before. Someone felt the need to call you names based on a blog post? Really? So sad.
Wow Kristen!
I’m really sad for that reader. What a shame that people lack so much joy in their lives that they must tear down someone else in order to feel anything. I’ll be praying for that person for sure!
I’m thankful for you and your blog! Keep up the great work!
I read your blog every day and love it. Do not be discouraged by this woman’s remarks – she is the minority! She will be in my thoughts today, and I hope that she has a better day and outlook on life.
I have to say, I have never felt deceived by your blog, and it doesn’t bother me that you may be making money from it. In fact, I hope you are making money from it.
The blessings you pour out to people are too great too ignore. The rewards you receive should not be frowned upon.
I continue to read your blog every day because it has been a tremendous blessing in my life. Please continue to do what you do, stick to your causes and ignore reader negativity.
I agree. I hope that you do make money from your blog.
I have your blog in my reader, and have for at least a year. I enjoy reading everything you post. I love how you are dedicated to improving your life, and your families life, and it always inspires me. I’m also inspired by your faith, which is very strong. It is heartening to see such a nice, well balanced family living well frugally. It is a shame that there are people in this world that are so unhappy with their own life that they take it out on others. Your blog is incredible and anyone who would spew that kind of hate doesn’t trully understand your blog, nor do they deserve the pleasure of reading it.
Kristen, I am so happy that you followed your heart and wanted to include your readers in a blessing that would not have maybe taken place in their life if you did not want to remind them that there is still a need in Haiti. Haiti is old news to our media but not to our Lord. Your website is such a blessing to me to see a young mother wanting to stay at home and serve her family which is pleaing to the Lord. Isn’t it great how the Lord gives us choices on how we can further the Kingdom. Keep up the good work! Blessings to you and your family.
I am fairly new to this blog, but I have almost read through the entire archive. I love it! I have been inspired to start meal planning and cut down (and get all the way to eliminating) my food waste. These concepts were something I already believed would be beneficial in a lot of ways, but seeing that YOU could do it made me feel like I could do it. You’ve got a lot more going on than I do, and it helps motivate me to see that you are able to accomplish so much!
Also, part of what I like about blogs is that I can get recommendations from bloggers that I trust. If they are getting a “kick-back”, I am totally cool with that as long as I know up front. It’s clear to me that you use and love the products and services that you feature – I can’t imagine that the money would be enough for you to waste your time otherwise. I’m happy to support bloggers that I admire financially, especially when it means I’m getting a well-tested product or service, too! I signed up for ebates – partially because of the Haiti donation aspect, but partially because I looked at the site and I realized I could be saving money! It was not purely altruistic, to be honest. I haven’t made my purchase yet, but I will. I’ll save money, you’ll get money to be donated…it’s a win-win. And then, I will refer my friends and see if I can do the same to make a donation.
Sorry that this is a little rambling, but I just wanted to leave something positive. Don’t let negative, irrational people get you down or discourage you from doing exactly what you’re doing. Keep it up, and thank you so much!
There always has to be those that “need” to sit in judgement of others…You passed the test, Kristen with Grace and Dignity. I can only speak of my experience. God has used you and your blog and the openness about your family to inspire me to bake again, get involved in photography again and making many items myself to aid the household cause. I am growing in God’s grace and He has used your blog and life to do it. Thank you and God Bless. If God be for me, who can be against me?
Michelle
I love your blog, and it’s always been clear to me that your intentions are pure, I believe you truly want to serve your readers and impart tips and tricks that have helped you. I have learned so much from you and will be forever grateful for the time you spend to take photos and blog for us. I personally like to hear about your recommendations on kitchen products that you enjoy using. I have never felt that you were trying to sell me something, just looking to share with others something that has made your life easier. Please keep it up!!! As someone who does not spend as much time in the kitchen as you do, I trust your feedback based on the sheer volume of experience you have, and I love hearing about things that people love. Ignore the haters, your blog inspires me (and I know others too) so much, you have no idea!!!!
This tirade reminds me very much of a similar one posted a few months ago on Kristen Swenson’s blog, Cheap Healthy Good. I wouldn’t be surprised if it wasn’t the same person. I suspect that rather than leaving for work each day, they just look for another blog to rant about. You handled it very well, tho I think I would have ignored it. There are some strange people out there!
Ooh, I must have missed that! I do read Cheap Healthy Good because I think Kris is stinking hilarious (I always feel remarkably unwitty after reading her posts. lol).
I have been reading, and loving your blog since you were on the 700 club! It is an inspiration to me! I’m so impressed with how you handled that mean and nasty person. God must truly reside in your heart! Huge hugs to you dear lady. Juli
I just thought of something…if the commenter had stopped reading my blog “a long time ago”, I don’t understand how she even came across the Haiti post. Weird.
I was wondering that myself.
I was thinking that, too. The only answer can be that he/she came back to find something to complain about.
Reading that stuff made my heart just sink. 1. I dig your blog. Keep it up. 2. If people don’t like what they read, why not just read something else and move on with their lives? I don’t get it.
That has always confounded me…why people read blogs that so obviously tick them off! I figure they must be masochists or something.
I completely agree with Shannon! No one is making them read this blog, no one is making them support your causes or spend money. Don’t like it move on to a blog you do like! I visited a blog yesterday that I did not agree with, so I moved on, no nasty comments needed. I LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog, please do not let a bad apple affect what you are doing here. You are doing a great job, please keep it up!
It never ceases to amaze me the type of angry people that lurk in dark corners and try to haunt those that truly don’t deserve it. Count it all joy Kristen when you fall into various trials.. that’s what I’d be telling myself right now.
Thanks for your response, it was edifying to read and I really hope that the anger and jealousy this person is dealing with isn’t lashed out at others today.
Good for you to respond instead of react. Grace abounds!
Kristen -
That was a gentle, kind response to a nasty person. Well handled. I appreciate your transparency and honesty. Funny how that comes through so clearly on your blog! Good job
Kim
You’re very gracious to respond to the very small quantity of potentially legitimate concerns that person had (hidden in a super-nasty, inflammatory comment). I can’t imagine anyone reading it for more than a week and suspecting anything less than above-board behavior from you. Also, it helps me learn what frugality really is, how much I can do myself, and reminds me to think about environmental impact (which, admittedly, I’m not great at yet). I actually have to make some yogurt during naptime today!
While I don’t always agree with everything you say or even how you present things, I think you do better than a lot of bloggers in balancing honesty with affiliate earnings. I am, though, glad to hear that the $5 bonus you get for referrals will also go to Haiti because I would agree it might be dishonest to encourage people to sign up “for Haiti” if that part were going to benefit you. While I would never write such comments, it does bother me to see bloggers being deceptive in that way (not that I think you are doing that), just in general.
I am sad you had to experience that, but being a faithful reader for almost a year now – I know that your response was completely real. You have been so helpful for me and your blog has taught me so many things. Because of your blog I have begun baking some of my own bread, trying to reduce our food waste, improving my photography skills, and have tried many new things that I probably never would have. In fact today, I am trying freezer jam for the first time – thanks to your photo tutorial!!! So based on hot much you bless others, I do hope you are financially blessed by this blog! I appreciate your product suggestions (I have started using my pyrex as serving bowls after seeing you do it and have reduced my amount of dishes!) and am slowly stocking my kitchen with quality products that will last a long time and be worth the investment.
So today I hope you are blessed by all the positive responses and that this person returns to read your comments and all of our comments and is somehow positively affected by them. Your response may not change this person’s attitude today – but it will probably plant a seed that will begin a change.
I’m sorry that woman left you so many nasty comments.
She obviously hasn’t read much of your blog, has she? 
Thank you for your very calm, patient, godly response to her. What a great testimony for the LORD! 
God bless.
Those comments were pretty nasty but it was good that you were able to respond to the concerns that were embedded in all the nastiness. And, we can all benefit as well by reading your responses. Thanks for sharing! I think you have always been transparent about anything you do and I’ve never had any concerns as a reader. Social media (blogging, facebook, twitter) is a LOT of work and I admire that you are able to balance it so well.
Are you SERIOUS??? Why on earth would anyone want to send you such nasty, and clearly uneducated, comments?!?! I sincerely appreciate all you share on your blog – and I do NOT think you share too many pictures! LOL
While I was unable to participate in the eBates/Haiti campaign I appreciated learning about it! I appreciated learning about Living Waters. I appreciate learning about many things and filing away that information for later use! I am always happy to skip over what I think does not pertain to me or is not possible for me to participate in at the time!
For this former reader to ‘flip out’ and get nasty is completely uncalled for! You are being verbally slapped for helping Haitians by a Haitian-American! That would be so incredibly hysterical if it did not hurt so much! One of the young ladies in our homeschool group is collecting shoes for Haiti – I wonder if this person would bash her because they are donated USED shoes, not new?!?
Just consider the source and remember to pray for her – she certainly needs it! Clearly there is much more going on in her life for her to have such anger. I will pray for her as well. My Grandma always said to sincerely pray for those who hurt you and those that make you angry – it keeps you from killing them and it will help you be kind which heaps hot coals upon their head – a small but nice pay back until your heart is softened towards them! *grin & wink*
Keep up the good work! You bless us in so many ways daily – if only to let us know that there are others out in the world with crazy families! LOL Hugs! ~Hope
Wow, name calling by this person – classy. Perhaps they should take a real good look in the mirror. Sounds like a classic case of projection onto someone else.
Boo! to nasty comments. I really enjoy your blog. I also think it is perfectly legitimate to write for money, and not as a public service!
Ha! Although I would say you accomplish both…
Honestly, I so prefer your blog to the glut of “deal” blogs. For me, most of those SCREAM “I want to get out of debt using your dollars…and encouraging YOU to go deeper in debt spending more, more, MORE!” I really value that you bake, shop at thrift stores, and refinish furniture rather than encouraging me to buy 80 tubes of toothpaste with coupons, spend 10 minutes filling out robo-forms for a finger-sized sample of shampoo, or shop at 18 stores each week to get the best deals on ev.er.y.thing!!!
I enjoy your mission to live cheerfully, creatively, and purposefully with less.
Oh man, I hear you! I sometimes scratch my head and wonder just how many deal blogs the blogosphere can manage to support. I follow one (MoneySavingMom) and figure that’s about all I need.
Totally cracking up about the finger sized samples of shampoo. I do NOT do the free sample gig.
MSM follower here, as well. I figure she was the creative force behind the movement.
However, I think I follow her blog because it is deals balanced with honest, penny-pinching living…which is exactly the kind of plain frugality that I think is far less popular. (And exactly the kind I want to REALLY read about…)
Thanks for writing and living in a way that inspires and encourages.
Oh, I love your blog! For one thing, you have inspired me to make homemade bread (which I have since turned the job over to my husband, lol) and one of these days I will try your instructions to paint furniture, something I’ve never been satisfied with. And these are just a few reasons that I so enjoy reading it.
“In quietness and confidence will be your strength.” Isaiah 30:15. Your blog has been helpful to me as a wife and new mom, as I work out some of the details of managing a household responsibly, etc. I admire how you’ve found ways to benefit your family and people you’ve never met half a world away. So many blogs, so little depth or lasting impact… and then there’s yours. Keep going!
Please don’t let a negative person like that get you down. I love your blog and look forward to reading it every day. People will always try to tear down others to make themselves feel better. Keep up the good work. The effort you put into your blog really shows. Your response to the negative comments was well thought out and written. You took the high road.
just wanted to send (((HUGS))). Like you, I’m privileged and humbled to receive 99% supportive, encouraging and loving responses on my blog; but those 1% can really hurt. You handled it admirably; well done
I learned a lot from that!
truly nasty people out there….and no one is forcing them to read your blog. I would not have been able to be so kind after someone was that mean and ill informed.
Wow. What a hateful comment. I couldn’t read and not comment to say that I admire the classy way you chose to respond. Good for you for taking the high road.
Keep up the awesome work that you do.
I ADMIRE YOU KRISTEN !!!
let me pick my jaw off my desk.
some people are unreal.
Some people I think were just born to be trouble makers! And find that they need to stick there nose where it doesn’t belong! .
If you (anyone) doesn’t like what you post, then don’t come here and read!
So she had to be snooping if she read that post!
I would be totally mad about this, I am glad you are not letting it ruin your day!
Takes all kinds to make the world go round!
This really shows how jealous some people can get. Sorry you had to deal with this. I still love your blog!!!
I am personally glad that you have the opportunity to make a little money through your blog. I am grateful for what you write; it has benefitted me quite a lot.
I also feel that you do a very good job of being above-board about when you may receive a benefit if we purchase something you’ve recommended.
You are certainly NOT a loser. Instead, you are an “enricher”–you enrich the lives of those you come into contact with. And if that person thinks you don’t “work”, they really ought to follow you (or ANY mother) around for half a day.
Hang in there and keep on being you.
PS–Joshua’s bed turned out awesome; someday I’m going to try painting furniture too.
Good for you for taking the higher road! I just recently stumbled upon your blog, & I admit to being far from frugal, but you continually inspire me not only to waste less & live frugally, but also to think of others on a daily basis! I’m sure you know this, but obviously the vast majority of your readers NEVER doubted your motivation for the blog. Keep it up!
Just want to add my voice to the chorus of support
You handled that very well. I am surprised to see such a vitrolic comment on a blog like this….that level of nastiness is usually reserved for political blogs!
Don’t let that reader bother you! Your response was great when their comments were less than founded or appropriate.
Some people just have problems and lash out at other people, without really even thinking or researching. Unfortunately, you were a target.
I glad you have a “real” job of keeping us readers happy and your family too!!
I’m sorry you had to even read and respond to that. Is this person related to the “too many pictures” person? I’ve been chatting with you for years – even with differences – and know you aren’t the type of person to try to make a buck from others. (Not like that anyway.)
I’ll still be reading each morning and I hope that person takes their rude thoughts somewhere else cause I sure don’t want to read it.
Oh, I just wanted to take a minute to tell you how inspired I am by your blog. I just recently discovered it and have thoroughly enjoyed reading your posts. It sounds like you are not deterred by your angry, unhappy, and inarticulate critics, and I am glad for that. Please keep inspiring your readers.
I’m a diehard lurker, but just had to put a comment in, after reading this – poor you! I think you handled it beautifully. After following you and being inspired and entertained by so much of your writing, I’m appalled that someone misunderstood you so completely. Those comments certainly don’t reflect my takeaway from the Ebates/Living Water thing, which I whole heartedly applaud you for.
THANK YOU — for writing a fabulous blog, for being concerned about and willing to do something to help others in need, and for humbly encouraging (and showing) people ways to be happy and successful in their lives. But especially — thank you for always taking the high road and letting that example shine through. As somewhat of a blurter and a pepper pot myself, I am SO inspired by your gentle and kind response — reading it made me stop and think about how miserable and forlorn that poster must be, and I even felt a bit sorry for her, which would NOT have been my initial response had I just read it in one fell swoop. Your measured response to all sorts of comments is just lovely and EFFECTIVE!! Cheers, and keep up the great work!
Oh,and got a giggle imaging you striking up a conversation with a pole
I was disappointed not by the reaction of the commenter, but by the way the commenter chose to react. I feel that when one has a public blog with a comment section, comments of all sorts are expected. What was uncalled for were the personal jabs. If one feels offended or irritated by advertisements or solicitations on a site such as a blog, then by all means, go ahead and say so. But to use name calling and nastiness and other not so nice assumptions about a person they do not really know is wrong. You took the high road Kristen. For that you should be commended. Even though the commenter said they stopped reading your blog months ago (!) I hope the commenter will come back to read your smart, well thought out and heartfelt response. Thank you for all you contribute to us, the readers and the rest of the world.
Peace,
Anne WF
Repeat after me: Do not feed the trolls. Do not feed the trolls. Do not feed the trolls.
Even though you do it so tactfully.
As I said earlier, after further reflection I should have just put the concerns in my own words and responded to those. But, I wrote this post just minutes after receiving the multiple comments, and that probably wasn’t the wisest thing ever.
I promise, I don’t trot every rude/weird comment I receive (one person recently was, uh, VERY interested in buying my old L.L. Bean slippers. Eww.)…just the ones that I feel do need to be addressed publicly because the concerns contained in them may affect other readers (just like when a rude comment caused me to wonder if maybe I DO post too many pictures, and if that’s more harmful than helpful).
Fortunately, I don’t have oodles of hungry trolls around here. lol
I think it was okay for you to put their comments on your website. You addressed them in a quite dignified manner, and I think that for you to have to “summarize” their nastiness is just extra work on your part. Work you shouldn’t have to spend time on.
I am amazed that people can be that nasty. Good for you for not letting it get under your skin. I read the post, but since I don’t do a whole lot of shopping like that on the internet, I just skipped over it.
There’s always someone out there who will be critical of you and what you are trying to do (which is honorable, I believe you will do what you say). You can’t let people like that affect you – which, obviously, you aren’t.
Sometimes ya just gotta call people out, and what better way to do that than to post their comment?
Take care, and know that you have a FAR LARGER readership that understands what you are doing and support you!
Thinking about this some more…what exactly is “feeding the trolls”? I’m thinking that if I responded in a sarcastic, angry manner, that would feed a troll…it’d be like pouring gasoline on a fire. But responding in a patient, kind manner is probably more like smothering a fire.
I can’t imagine that a troll would be gratified by the way things have gone down here. Though I could certainly be wrong about that, having not been privvy to a troll’s mindset!
I think you did a really great job at responding to those rude and totally uncalled for comments. I don’t know if I would have had the same calm tone. I for one do not share her feelings and appreciate all the hard work you put into your blog and sharing the tips and tricks from your daily life. It takes a lot to put your “real life” out there for the world to see, and I guess not everyone can see that! Thanks for all you do!
Thank you for your blog! My daughter and I love your blog! You have given us a lot of good ideas and heartwarming stories of your family to make us smile. You are a wonderful person and we love you! “A gentle answer turns away wrath” God says. You handled the situation of insults with good answers. Good job! The person who wrote that attack is filled with anger and confusion. I pray that God will help her. Keep up the good job you are doing, and thank you for all of the good that you do.
That’s a problem with the internet. I would be surprised if this person ever had the guts to say those things to your face.
Absolutely disgusting. That person should be ashamed.
Keep up the great work
Oh, and though i have never bought anything on Ebay (yup, I’m a big Luddite) I TOTALLY trust you in this without a second thought . When you make a recommendation for a cooky tray, your readers know you REALLY like that cooky tray. Period. I have no problem with and, in fact, welcome your input here. Your expertise is greatly appreciated!
All I can say is SHAME on that commenter. Obviously doesn’t deserve to be one of your faithful readers!
Thank you for all your “lazy” work. It helps me be more efficient, frugal AND cheerful somehow! Go figure!
AND thank you for sharing your life and your children….I appreciate your efforts.
As I sit here eating my yummy homemade yogurt (YAY!!!) let me add my voice to the chorus of people stating that you handled the rude commenter with much grace & finesse.
Regarding the Ebates post, I appreciated your initial disclosure and signed up for two basic reasons. One, I have a few items I’ve researched & will need to purchase in the next few weeks & noticed that the companies I planned to buy from were listed so it’s Win, Win for everyone. But my main reason for joining was that over the course of the past few months I’ve been reading your blog and gaining shall we say more courage in the kitchen. I can find recipes anywhere on the internet but your combination of pictures, suggestions & encouragement makes challenging endeavors – such as baking bread – seem somewhat feasible. So far I haven’t burned the house down & nobody has been poisoned so it seemed like joining E-bates was the least I could do.
you should just ignore jerky people like that!
Wow! Sounds like someone needs a hug!!!
You give us such wonderful post (and pictures) everyday. So you make a few bucks along the way. I do not have a blog and can only imagine how much time goes into each post. You have taught me so much about baking, especially bread baking. I am so thankful to you and your efforts.
Yikes… good thing Love Wins, and God’s grace is enough to cover a multitude of wrongs, right? Just wanted to add another post of support, such a shame that people feel the need to waste their time and yours by being so awful.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and posts. I love to hear what you have to say, and have been encouraged to save money in areas and just really enjoy your thoughts and of course I really admire the skills you share
Please don’t get discouraged by people who make it their job to be nasty… you are doing a great job with everything you do
<3
_-Katy
Such a gracious response. I had no doubts that you were being open and honest regarding the Living Water donation. What a great ministry/charity! Also, considering all the time that goes into your wonderful blog, I hope you are able to earn something for your time!!
I am with all of the others. Great job handling the negative post. I read your blog daily and although a lot of it doesn’t relate to my life directly, I find it very inspiring. Keep up the good work. And, why shouldn’t you earn some money for your time and effort. Extremely generous of you to donate to Living Water.
wow! whatEVER!! ……anyone who’s been here for awhile wouldn’t suspect you of lying to us. that’s just crazy. and you know what? it costs me NOTHING to read you blog. not a penny. and there is good stuff here. i’d pay a magazine company a couple of dollars a month for “content” and they make advertising revenue, and it’s all ok. it doesn’t bother me the slightest bit if you make a little cash from what you have going here. get back to doing good, and don’t let this discourage you.
I know…it’s so odd. People don’t mind paying me to teach piano, to play the piano, or to take pictures for them, but they have a problem with someone else paying me to provide free content for them? It makes no sense!
Aw, man, sorry you have to deal with comments like that! That person seemed so angry but the anger seemed misdirected. What wonderful responses you gave. You are a true inspiration. I strive to have as much integrity as you do. It sure shines through. Please keep up the wonderful work.
That was a totally uncalled for comment and you responded with politeness and restraint. I also have a comment, but it’s solely because my daughter and grandson have recently been to Haiti with a medical mission. Their experience leads them to say “Be careful” how you contribute money to any disaster area. Their recommendation is to contact a group that is going, and provide money through them.
That said, I’ll add that I read (and enjoy) your blog daily.
My goddess those are some very nasty comments and your response was very classy. I find your blog an enjoyable read and I actually learn a thing or two from time to time.
I think its just best to do two things when trolls like that show up,give them a classy response and then ignore them.
All I can say is WOW – you handled that very well. May God bless you for your patience and kindness.
Hello,
I’ve been following your blog for a while and this is the first time I felt I had to comment.
I did have some qualms about the posts referring us to Ebates, Tropicana rewards, etc. but felt you were always up front about why you were doing that. I still love reading your blog and hope you won’t be discouraged by such a mean-spirited comment.
Thanks for all the great photos, recipes, and glimpses into a purposeful life!
This lady obviously doesn’t know you Kristen, otherwise she wouldn’t have said such hateful things. I must admit, I get tired of going to blogs that are selling something all the time. Looking for some kind of kick-back and not just to share. Maybe she had read several and yours was the last. I don’t know, cause your posts aren’t like that. I wouldn’t take it personally. My dad has encouraged me often times that there is probably something big going on in that person’s life. My guess is you were just the innocent target. Stay strong & keep blogging on…
Sending hugs cause you definitely need one after comments like that.
Out of great respect for Kristen, I will not post my first or fifth or tenth gut reaction.
I will say this: Early this morning, I saw this marquee outside a church and instantly thought of you.
“We serve the Good Lord Best by serving others”
That’s what you do here.
I appreciate it and love you for it, cuz heaven knows, I tried to start a blog and well…you don’t see my name as a link now do you?
If no one said it, or if everybody said it….doesn’t matter.
Thank you for what you do.
Amen. I often say that I serve God by serving my husband and children (and blog readers too!).
Keep up the great work Kristen!!
What tacky and hurtful things to say. If a website isn’t for you then don’t read it. You don’t need to disparage the blogger and all the blogger followers.
I really, really enjoy your post. You’ve inspired me to try new things – like painting a headboard (not done but coming along nicely!) and to watch my food so we have less waste. Thank you for sharing. There are a LOT of people who find your blog interesting and inspiring.
I missed a few days and just read this post. I’m sorry that someone so upset would say such hurtful things to you, in such a public manner. Unfortunatly (or fortunatly) everyone is entitled to their opinion, and others opinions will not always match your own. It takes all types, thankfully there are types like you
I have to mirror most of the comments that support you in your efforts.
You have a great blog and remind people of what is important in life. If you can make money bringing others value and happiness more power to you sister!
You responded with such dignity and respect. I greatly admire your response and your blog. I wish you every success with this blog and hope that your hard work bringing us such interesting and informative posts earns you enough income to happily contribute to your various savings funds
You deserve success. Many thanks for all you do with your blog to contribute to the lives of others.
Yup, that’s where it goes! I’m not increasing my standard of living because of blog revenue…I’m increasing my savings.
Sorry to read that someone felt this way. The comments strike me as incredibly bizarre. In any case, I appreciate your blog and learn so much from it. I enjoy the recipes, the ideas on living more frugally, and the stories/pics of your cute kids.
Please keep it up.
Wow… Kristen, you handled all that very nicely!
I love your blog!
Wow! I’m sorry you had to be subjected to such a negative response. My first gut feeling is I feel sorry for this individual. He or she apparently is not a happy person and is lashing out to anyone. We need to pray for this person so he or she can see that what you are doing works for you. It may not work for them but out of respect should not be slamming you for doing something that works for your family. I check out your website every day for tips and great recipes and you have inspired me to be frugal in my decisions. thank you so much!
Wow! – What an opportunity to lift someone up in prayer. My heart hurts for someone who has so much pain & anger in their life. I was pleased to see that you used the opportunity to talk of your faith. I love your blog for the very reason that it is wholesome & shows a kind of ‘everyday’ christianity that is joyful & unpretentious.
Blessings to you my sister -
Anonymity brings out the worst in some people, doesn’t it? It’s like reading the comments on some news stories and wondering if there are any sane people left in the world.
This part made me giggle:
“Sit at home all day with a computer in front of you and beg! While the rest of the world works and makes a living! ……I will do this all day and night and spread the word on other sites about you as well.”
NOW who is sitting in front of the computer all day? Hope their boss doesn’t find out or they’ll have to “beg” as well!
(((hug))) Kristen. As someone who has known you online for many years before you were even The FG, I know how incredibly off-base this person is. Anyone who knows “Kristen” knows this as well, and that’s all that matters!
lol, that’s a hilarious point! Because she did say she was going to work. =P
I just read this and am thinking what in the world??? I have to agree with above comments that this person is a troll. If they really have been a previous long time reader I don’t think they would be able to get this impression. My guess is they just found your blog, read that one post, saw the other links around, and made snap judgments then felt they had to validate themselves and say they were a long time reader.
I need to say thank you. I have been waiting for a yarn sale and by signing up for ebates I was able to get tons of yarn 50% off, free shipping, a little cash back, and can now start work on my Christmas presents. Not to mention I helped you help Haiti. Thank you so much!
Yay!! I’m so glad to hear that.
It really irks me when I see comments like this. Didn’t their mother’s teach them any manners? If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. If you don’t like the blog, simply don’t read it. You responses were excellent though…so well written and tactful. You can tell you are a very classy woman.
P.S. I love your blog! Keep up the fantastic work!!
Wow. I’m always surprised how people react when the anonymity of the internet allows their true self to show. (Referring to the comments you received, not you!) It’s sad enough when it’s teenage girls leaving nasty comments, but when grown adults do it? Even worse!
You, Kristen, certainly handled this response graciously and in a true Christ-like manner. As a relatively new blog writer, I understand how hard it can be to hear those comments, but I truly believe that you write from your heart in a true and honest manner. You write about things that are dear to you and your family. That is what a blog is all about and I, for one of many, am thankful that you write! Continue to write from your heart. You do a wonderful job!
Awww…Kristin, your blog has inspired me to be better. I’ve learned so much here, I’m one who never grew up knowing how to be frugal, it’s been the hard knocks, learning the hard way & we are still knee deep in the muck of trying to get back on track, living a good Godly life, raising children.
1. You are a hard worker, that comes thru on your posts.
2. You are a Godly, sweet person.
3. I’ve never personally felt you were trying to make a buck or take advantage of others.
I know this sad, probably jealous person did not probably get you down, but I wanted to comment anyway b/c you are so appreciated by this mama of many in Kansas.
I’ve been reading your blog for over a year and I have to say this person simply had no clue what they were talking about. While I didn’t love that you were pitching the Ebates instead of getting huffy about it I simply decided to make a direct donation to Living Water since I did want to help the charity but hadn’t really had any planned purchases coming up.
I don’t mind the occasional product reviews and coupons and giveaways I don’t view these as anything but little extras to an already great blog that helps a lot of people get great ideas for their own life and inspires me (personally) to bake more. You’re always giving away things to the readers (tips, inspirations, photos, how-to’s) so I can’t imagine anyone would see you as selfish or even think you’d pocket the money!
I wasn’t going to comment as I think the people before me have done a great job saying all the things I could have said but I wanted to show my support in my own way as well.
Just wanted to say that I agree with something Frugal Liz wrote a few comments back – just ignore these types of comments! No need to make an entire post out of ‘em.
I will never understand what has become of people that they think it is ok to talk like that. To call other people harsh names with such anger. I have come across several people like this and the best thing to do is turn the other cheek.
Words fail. I admire your restrained response; this kind of trash talk is much more likely to make me lose my temper. Just wanted to add my voice to the chorus of people who really appreciate what you do and think the commenter is way, WAY out of line.
You handled yourself very well – I hope that I am that classy when faced with such an unhappy person!
Nice to see the outpouring of LOVE in response to one person’s vitriol…Keep doing what you do, Frugal Girl, your fans are counting on you!
“I’m not afraid of people like you are.”
This bit made me laugh… WTF?? What a wacko.
My “day job” is that of a newspaper reporter, and the blog is one of my work projects.
I can certainly assure anyone that writing a blog is a lot like writing an op-ed, personality or consumer affairs column for the newspaper. The writer does the research and / or interviews, adds in his or her opinion or analysis, and writes the piece. And often there are deadlines to keep as well.
The biggest difference between what most bloggers do, and what I do, is that most of them are freelance and have to worry about the business side of their venture as well. I’ve got an entire team of co-workers available to call on for my marketing and I.T. issues. My job: write. post. promote.
Well, those comments are unjust and not even true! Keep doing the right thing and you will be blessed. Ignore those ugly comments.